Bullying - Every parent’s worst nightmare!

Every parent will want a good, happy start to the new school year for their children, and nobody wants to think of their offspring being bullied, but all too often we hear about such incidents. However, we do need to be clear about what bullying really means, as it is easy to use the word when what is happening may be an example of unkind behaviour but not actual bullying.

The following is a definition of bullying from a school policy:

1. Bullying is behaviour by an individual or group, repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally. The main features of bullying are deliberate aggression, unequal power relationships, behaviour which results in pain or distress, bullying physical or emotional can cause psychological damage and even suicide. There are different types of bullying which include verbal, racist, homophobic, emotional, physical, sexual and increasingly now cyber-bullying.

However much we encourage children to talk to us as parents, if they are being bullied this doesn’t always happen as there may be a fear of making things worse or a feeling that there is nothing that can be done. Therefore, as a parent it is important to know what signs to look for if you fear your child is a victim of bullying. Signs can include; distress, being withdrawn, not wanting to go to school, regularly feeling ill, personal items going missing or being damaged, reluctance to eat or play, general unhappiness or moodiness (more than usual), depression, standards of work falling.

How can you help?

If the bullying is taking place at school make contact with your child’s form teacher or head of year, express your concerns and ask for the situation to be looked into and appropriate action taken. Make it clear that you want the school to get back to you as soon as possible. Encourage your child to talk to an adult at school or, if appropriate, a more senior pupil. Do not condone “hitting back” in any way as this can make situations worse.

What should the school do?

All schools must have an “Anti-bullying Policy” that all staff should be familiar with so that they can follow the correct procedures. A good school will offer support, be clear in their communication and seek to resolve the issues promptly and appropriately. It will be important that all sides are listened to, that records are kept and that suitable sanctions are in place. Be prepared as a parent to ask for a copy of the policy in order that you can understand the school’s approach and then you can work together for the best result. This is also helpful if sadly it is your child who is accused of carrying out the bullying.

There is a wealth of help available for parents and children from a number of organisations and websites that explain different types of bullying not only at school but in other paces as well.

Examples of these are:

1. bullying.co.uk
2. nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk
3. childline.org.uk
4. kidscape.org.uk

I sincerely hope that these are issues you don’t have to face, as a culture of bullying is not acceptable and can have devastating effects.

Learn more about the link between bullying and substance misuse.